Fly
This is way overdue. I've flown on many airplanes with no problems at all, until the day I didn't. One panic attack on an airplane is all it takes for the body to hard wire the memory for posterity, and send it coursing to the surface at the slightest provocation. Somebody said "airplane?" Heart rate escalates. Driving to the airport? Feel woozy. Scheduling a flight? I can hardly click the button on my computer.
Phobias are weird birds. They are not really the fear of a thing, but rather the fear of experiencing fear in connection with that thing. And, at least in my case, they coexist with a real and certain knowledge that the object of the phobia carries no danger to oneself whatsoever. As many before me have aptly put it, it is the fear of fear itself, and it is more powerful than any real threat I have known.
So, flying. I really want to do this. I want to banish this ridiculous problem once and for all, so that I can enjoy opportunities, not white knuckle my way through them, or just stay home. I have tickets for an all-expenses-paid week in Cancun in February. Cancun! In February! What's not to love about that?! The flight of course...I have to fly to get there. So it's time to deal with the flying monster. My sense is that I need a baby step before I take that leap, so I've booked a flight to Boise and back, all in one day. It's one hour and five minutes. I'm going by myself. I'm terrified and bold at the same time. I know this is fine. I know that I am in no danger, that thousands of people do this every day, that planes are made to fly, and that I can do anything for One Hour. And if I can do it for One Hour, I can do it for another One Hour. And so on. Baby steps.
Boise is in 13 days. Cancun, 21 days. It's going to be an interesting month.
Phobias are weird birds. They are not really the fear of a thing, but rather the fear of experiencing fear in connection with that thing. And, at least in my case, they coexist with a real and certain knowledge that the object of the phobia carries no danger to oneself whatsoever. As many before me have aptly put it, it is the fear of fear itself, and it is more powerful than any real threat I have known.
So, flying. I really want to do this. I want to banish this ridiculous problem once and for all, so that I can enjoy opportunities, not white knuckle my way through them, or just stay home. I have tickets for an all-expenses-paid week in Cancun in February. Cancun! In February! What's not to love about that?! The flight of course...I have to fly to get there. So it's time to deal with the flying monster. My sense is that I need a baby step before I take that leap, so I've booked a flight to Boise and back, all in one day. It's one hour and five minutes. I'm going by myself. I'm terrified and bold at the same time. I know this is fine. I know that I am in no danger, that thousands of people do this every day, that planes are made to fly, and that I can do anything for One Hour. And if I can do it for One Hour, I can do it for another One Hour. And so on. Baby steps.
Boise is in 13 days. Cancun, 21 days. It's going to be an interesting month.
Comments